Can i not drive my cunt home
I wannas sexs uuuuu
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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