barbara walters just said penis...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
