You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
