11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
