I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
