D3 body, D1 cock
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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