She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize