So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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