Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
