Your tits are I can't wait for
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
