Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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