so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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