You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
