I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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