Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize