Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
