I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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