Your face is a jimmy john
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
