can we get nightvision for the apartment?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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