Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize