I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
