Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I think a kid would responsible me up
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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