I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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