The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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