he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
