Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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