in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
