ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We were destined to go to rehab together
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
