Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Define "chronic" masturbator.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? Weβre gonna unpack that later
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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