You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
