Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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