He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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