I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize