My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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