Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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