you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
