I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
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sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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Goodbee
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
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