Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
