If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize