we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
