Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
