using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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