i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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