so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
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