Do vagina's smell?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
