No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
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He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
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Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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