1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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