They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
