I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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