she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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