peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
