im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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