I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
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