would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My pussy is not your playground.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
