So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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