so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
