I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
