Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
