Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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