I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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