I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
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