Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
