okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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