just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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