3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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